As I was doing my hair the other day, I reached for a new styling product I had been using and glanced over the instructions, because I felt it wasn't living up to my full expectations. I needed to make sure I was using it to the best of it's abilities before getting angry with it. Anyway, as I was reading the instructions, I was struck by the bold print WARNINGS printed after the instructions. Warnings that on products such as these I tend to ignore. I mean really. It's hair smoothing cream, not rocket science. What could I possibly need to know? Apparently a lot. Here is what the warning label says:
CAUTION: HAIR IS FLAMMABLE. (A bit obvious, but okay. Maybe there are some dumb dumbs out there who don't already know this, so I'll read on.) FLAMMABILITY IS INCREASED WHEN TREATED WITH PRODUCTS OF THIS TYPE. (Okay. Now that is brand new information. I had never really thought of this as an issue before...) KEEP HAIR AWAY FROM OPEN FLAME (again, duh), LIT TOBACCO PRODUCTS (...Huh. Okay, this is slightly more concerning...) FIRE, OR SPARKS (...aaaand back to the blatantly obvious).
Call me jaded, but this is the first time in a long time a warning label actually gave me concern. I mean, of course the ads we all see on TV that say things like "may cause heart attack, uncontrollable bleeding, diarrhea, stroke, loss of vision, or DEATH" give me concern, but that just means I'll use a different headache medicine. Obviously. My favorite ones are for antidepressants that warn of depression or mood swings as side effects. Really...? That seems like maybe it's time for a risk versus reward assessment. But I digress.
Back to my hair product/lighter fluid. Now I guess this would be the time to tell you that I actually have set my hair on fire before. On accident, of course. Not that that makes it any better. I was about 7 or 8 years old at the time, and standing in the kitchen with my friend and her mom. Her mom was cooking something on the stove top and we were all chatting. I was standing with my back to the stove when suddenly we all noticed a strange smell. As we were all looking around to figure out what it was, I heard a gasp. Her mom rushed me over to the sink and turned the water on and stuck my hair under. Yes, I was at the exact right height that the ends of my hair touched the gas flame and caught on fire. Luckily all that happened was my split ends got singed off and we all had a (nervous) laugh about it later. But the point is, I actually have set my hair on fire. And it's sort of one of those things that you only need to do once. If ever.
Now, I'm not a smoker, but I am around them from time to time, so I'd appreciate it if maybe they gave a safe radius in which to be of smokers on the label as well. I mean are they going to light up nearby and then my hair just bursts into flames like a Pinto? You need to give me more details when doling out such warnings! And perish the thought of an actual smoker using these products. What if you're a smoker with a chin-length bob? Your hair would be in constant danger of a literal brush with death. Or what about, say, walking through a Vegas casino?? I am gripped by a vision of myself stepping foot in the Bellagio and my hair instantly catching fire. Not knowing what to do, I run outside and jump in the fountain just as the opening strains of "Time to Say Goodbye" play ominously...
Anyway. Until they give me more details, I think I'll stop using this hair product for now. Just to be safe.
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