Final Thoughts

I sat down to watch Chelsea Lately tonight, and I was treated to a little case of You're-Getting-Old-itis. What that means is I have contracted a disease over the past couple of years that has made it glaringly obvious that I am no longer the young whippersnapper I once was...or whatever the female version of that is. And occasionally, I get flare-ups of said disease that make me want to locate Doc Brown and his Delorean IMMEDIATELY. Case in point: Jerry Springer is the guest on Chelsea Lately tonight, and he has just pointed out that his show has been on the air for TWENTY YEARS. May I just take a moment to point out that I still remember his show when it was merely a talk show of the Sally Jesse Raphael, or Phil Donohue variety, (two shows that some of you may be too young to even remember, as they have been off the air for so long now) and not the depraved reminder of all things wrong with America today that it has since become. So basically, what I am trying to say is I remember this show at it's inception. And it has been on for TWENTY YEARS. The only thing getting me through this revelation is Jerry's comment that his own show "has no redeeming social value whatsoever." And that little tidbit gives me a sliver of hope that maybe our society will turn out okay after all, and that I don't need to polish my bow and arrows and befriend Katniss Everdeen just yet...

The Internal Struggle

Even though I mostly enjoy working out (or at least I enjoy fitting into my favorite jeans), I am constantly finding myself battling a never-ending Internal Struggle with whether or not I should go to the gym. It begins the moment I wake up, and only ends when either I go to the freakin' gym, or curse my lazy ass to sleep, hating myself for not forcing myself to go.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The Internal Struggle:

7:00 am, alarm goes off: *Rolls over* mmgjhajkas...stupid alarm...dgjnzf...Son of a B...*hits snooze button*

7:07, alarm goes off again: Hmm...okay, I can sleep for 15 more minutes, then I have to get up

7:22: Alright, if I am going to get in a morning workout, I have to leave in an hour. Plenty of time.

7:30, alarm #2 goes off: Okay, I'm up, I'm up...zzzzzzzz

8:55 am: @$%#. It's okay, it's okay. I'll go after the lunch crowd is gone. I just have to get there before 3.

11 am: Or, you know, I could just go for a run later, when it cools off or something.

12:30: Better put my gym clothes on. If I'm already dressed, that's half the battle. Plus, how lazy would I have to be to get dressed and not go to the gym? Only a crazy person would do that.

1pm: I wonder how late the gym is open...

1:15: Pfft, it's open until 9! I can totally go later.

2:30: Alright, I have to go soon if I'm going to miss the after-work crowd.

3: I'll just go after dinner. It might be kind of nice then. But I really have to go, I mean there is no excuse.

4: Or I could still just have a run, then I don't have to drive the 40 minute round-trip drive...ugh

5:30: Or really, I could just eat really light today. I already kind of have. Isn't diet just as important as exercise? I mean, it's good to take a day off from the gym right? Let your body rest? Although, I didn't go 2 days ago either...But it's not like you have to work out every day to stay in shape right?

6:30: Well, let's be real, I am obviously not going to the gym today. I'd better decide if I'm going for a run or not so I can change out of these gym clothes.

6:45: *Steps outside* Well screw that. It's practically a steam room out there.

6:46: *Peels off sports bra* Aaah. That spells relief.

11:00 pm, in bed: I hate myself. What a lazy bitch. Who does that? Who. Does. That? *Sets alarm* I'm definitely working out tomorrow.