24 August, 2009

Official New Biggest Pet Peeve


As we all know, I have recently taken a drive across these great United States. This drive took me through the states of: California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Florida, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, and Virginia. Phew. Incidentally, I visited public restrooms in all of these states, and it is this experience which brought about the discovery of my Official New Biggest Pet Peeve. 

Now, I am a person with quite a few pet peeves. Among them are: traffic caused by people slamming on their brakes to stare at accidents (hello, this causes more accidents, geniuses!), know-it-alls and one-uppers, people who think their dogs are people, and bad spellers. Oh I'm sure there's more; I am pretty readily annoyable. *note, "annoyable" does not count as bad spelling, I just like to make up words.

Anyhoodle, I have discovered that the pet peeve that now trumps all these other peeves is (drum roll please)... public restrooms with no toilet seat covers. In addition, what magnifies this peeve is when these restrooms have toilet paper that comes off the roll square by square. Then I have to sit there and make an origami toilet seat cover one ply at a time. I have also observed that the restrooms that lack said covers are usually the dirtiest, stinkiest ones with broken locks, doors hanging on one hinge, and toilets that won't flush properly. Hence the stinky. 




It blows my mind that in 2009 any public restroom would not come equipped with covers.  They are one of the most innovative inventions I can think of; not only do they provide sanitary protection, but they also save moments of your life that are wasted spent bending uncomfortably at the waist, pulling ply by ply off the roll to try and fashion something to protect you from whatever it is you can get from toilet seats.

Having said that, I am not a fan of those weird plastic covers that are attached to the toilet and spin around to the back, disappearing to wherever toilet seat covers go to die.  These new covers are allegedly cleaner and more efficient, as they protect the toilet from those thrill-seekers who dare to bare directly on the seat. However, I take issue with these "high tech" new covers.  I do not trust anything that thinks for itself if I cannot see where it keeps its brain. I mean, who knows where those used covers really go.





12 August, 2009

The Procrastination-Driven Life

I've thought about starting a blog for awhile now, but every time I've gotten on the computer to do it, something distracts me.  I find a hilarious site I can't seem to navigate away from, or I quiz my life away on Sporcle, or I remember someone I've been meaning to look up on imdb and then I have to check the progress on Harry Potter 7 and the Arrested Development movie and...where was I? Oh yes, I get distracted far too easily and then by time time I remember what I logged on to do it's late and time to watch Entourage and/or Dexter. I mean, there are only so many hours in a day!

Anyhoodle, I was thinking about how I always joke about my procrastination, which I have truly turned into an art form.  I have thought for awhile that I would like to write a book a la Chelsea Handler or David Sedaris, and that I would call it The Procrastination-Driven Life.  This title is of course a play on the book called The Purpose Driven Life, which incidentally I have never gotten around to reading. I did start roughly writing my book, but I haven't gotten very far. Kind of like this blog.  So, here I am, sitting here and thinking about my procrastination skillz and what a loser I can turn into, and I remembered that I can't feel too bad about myself because I read somewhere in one of my psychology books that procrastination is actually a sickness and cannot be helped. Seriously! I mean, I'm sure there's some sort of cure for it, I just haven't gotten around to making that doctor's appointment to find out. Besides, I'm sure my psychology book has solutions and cures.  I'd look it up for a reference, but I really don't feel like getting up.