Well, folks, another season is over, and it sure feels like that happened fast. Maybe because it did. But I digress, as we all know how I feel about Fox's format for SYTYCD Fall Edition. Anyhoodle, apparently I failed to address some important issues in my previous rant (according to my sister) most importantly where has Mia Michaels been??! Well thanks to Google, I found out. Apparently she left the show. For good. The thing that shocks me about this is how Fox and Nigel kept this so quiet. I mean, he managed to discuss repeatedly his efforts trying to court Paula Abdul to be a 4th judge, a choreographer, a guest performer, or the most heavily medicated audience member. Anything! Just come to our show Paula!!! He even went so far as to have an empty chair next to him with her name on it (literally, her name was on it in stickers), but no mention of how Emmy winning choreographer and panelist Mia Michaels has taken a permanent vacay, possibly even to get her own show. Now who will make our dancers cry? Who will display uninhibited hatred for them and choreograph routines about benches or asses? It's all so unsettling.
But the biggest question of the evening was what was up with Russell's injury? Or as I call it A Krumptastic Konspiracy Theory. But we'll get to that later. The evening started off with a kick-ass group routine, featuring the entire Top 20. I'd forgotten all about some of them. That one girl who was voted off first looks waaayy different than I remember. Like, so much so that I'm suspicious they got a body double. And can someone please tell me how Bianca (tap dancing female) made it to the Top 20 again??! I mean really. She's not good; very awkward looking and horrible arm positioning. Maybe that's why Mia left. She'd never let that slide. The Top 6 appear, and what is with Jakob's ubercreepy double jointed shoulder move?? It's disgusting. He did this when they were on Ellen and I was hoping it was a mistake, like he didn't know what to do with himself and it just happened, but no, I fear after doing something like that more than once, it's intentional. And wow, he's really bringing guyliner to a whole 'nother level tonight. Oh! Ashleigh throws out a pose that my dance teacher used to make us do, and I always thought it was so lame. That was 1993 and Madonna's Vogue was at the height of dance sophistication. Dear Ashleigh, it's almost 2010. Let's outgrow these things. Anyway, I like to play a little game with myself during the group routines called Guess the Choreographer. It is exactly as it sounds. This one seems very Wade Robson-y to me...(love him by the way) and... I'm wrong, it's some chick I've never heard of. Oh well, we can't be right all the time.
One of my grievances last night was that the hostess and judges were wearing attire unbefitting a special occasion like the "fin-aahh-le" of a competitive dance show. However, it seems they saved their fancy dress for tonight, and I'd say I wasn't let down but we all know it would be no fun if I didn't have something snarky and bitchy to say. First off I am 99.9% sure that Cat Deeley wore this dress on another episode. And her necklace does not go with her outfit. But her hair looks pretty (see I can be nice!). Nigel is wearing a tuxedo with no tie, which is fine but, he's wearing a pleated tuxedo shirt that just looks bare without one. But kudos on trying to be hip with the times; going sans tie is very hot right now. Mary Murphy looks surprisingly understated for someone who wears ball gowns and drips with diamonds on a regular basis. Don't even get me started on "Li'l C"; his outfit makes my head hurt. Debbie Allen is wearing a dress she stole from the TV set of Fame, Tyce looks great, but that's to be expected, and Adam Shankman still manages to look hopelessly geeky in a tuxedo.
I was concerned that with the rushed season, they wouldn't bring back the judges favorite dances, but they did, and they did me one better. This season had one bonus episode that was the Top 20 dancing in their styles, and the best thing to come of this was watching Legacy, Kevin, and Russell do hip hop together. This routine kicked off the show, and it was as good as I remembered. Ba-nanas. Between the other repeat routines and a slightly excessive 4 musical and 1 dance guest, we had the whole point of the evening: Eliminations.
This brings me back to my Krumptastic Konspiracy Theory. I'm sorry, but Russell's "injury" was all very suspect to me. They called the dancers out for the first elimination, and half of them didn't show up on stage. At this point, Cat's having technical difficulties, but we can hear her asking where the rest were, yet none of the people onstage offered the information that Russell had injured himself. He comes hobbling out onstage with the help of Ryan and says "I hurt my knee--I mean leg." Well which is it? They're saying he broke his ankle during the hip hop routine at the beginning of the show. If so, how was he able to do the whole routine with no problem? And why is it that Cat wasn't informed during one of the commercial breaks or otherwise? I know it's a live show, but still, it was weird that no one knew. Then, with each subsequent elimination, we was either using one of the other dancers as a crutch, or sitting on a stool, and I'm pretty sure the length of his right pant leg was directly proportional to how dramatic he wanted to be. When he was leaning on the stool all hangdog, it was nearly up to his knee. When it was the final elimination, and he pretty much walked out normally, it was only rolled up a little bit, like an 80's cuff.
When it comes to the Top 6, I had some pretty strong opinions this season. I ultimately felt like Legacy and Mollee should have made it over Ryan and Ashleigh. And I was hoping Ellenore would get eliminated weeks ago, so I was pleased when they were the first 3 to go. I wanted Kathryn to win, but I would've been happy if she, Jakob, or Russell had won, and I thought it was going to be either Jakob or Russell. Normally I am not a fan of the hip hop dancers who make the finals, because they are not usually as good at any of the other styles. But Russell was so incredibly talented that he could do it all, and do it well. He was the only one from auditions that I really cared if he made it to the show. Until this episode, I loved him, but for someone who "broke his ankle" he sure was able to jump up and down like a healthy person when he was announced the winner. Ripping his shirt off wasn't the classiest thing he could have done either. I wasn't surprised that he won, because you could tell the audience loved him, and I wasn't disappointed because I liked him. But I was confused by his injury and the way he seemed fine by the end of the show was just plain bizarre.
But let's not leave out the ever fabulous J.Lo singing her new song Louboutins about, what else, Louboutins. The lyrics say something about "throwing on my Louboutins," and can I just state for the record that I have tried Louboutins on (only at the Neiman Marcus outlet, I'm too afraid if I ever asked a salesperson to try on a pair they'd just laugh at me, knowing I could never afford them) and one does not "throw" Louboutins on. Uggs maybe. But when it comes to Louboutins, one must gingerly shimmy their foot into one. And then admire them endlessly. Just saying. Anyway, J.Lo's outfit was bananas. I die for her tights and glittery Louboutins. And I loved how she had former contestants as her backup dancers! That was so Jenny From the Block of her. All in all it was a great season, and I'm just bummed that it's already over. I could've watched this cast dance forever!
"Ba-da da da! Soyouthinkyoucan...DANCE" (that's me singing the theme song, in case you were wondering)
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